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Sheree

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Dont adjust your screen. [14 Nov 2007|11:53pm]

LMAO!


Im still moving LJ's but I had to post this immediately, that's my big-as-all-outside, overgrown, ponytailed manager in a beat up brown leather Member's Only replica jacket.. with the sleeves rolled up.
9 SPOKE/SPEAK

Let that bitch breathe. [12 Nov 2007|10:42pm]
[ mood | hungry ]

White girls, ya'll got it easy.

Ya'll can walk out the crib with your hair all over your head & it's called a 'messy bun'.

I do that shit & it's called 'drunk in public'.

*Shrugs*

I'ma take that L quietly.

4 SPOKE/SPEAK

Rain, rain go away. [25 Oct 2007|02:40pm]
[ mood | cold ]

This guy came into my job & said a few days ago he took a walk in the rain, that may not mean anything to you but to me it clearly meant duke was crazy, so I said "oh yeah?" & he said yeah, it was wonderful. I said alright, well, have a nice day. & Im only remembering this bcus its raining right now & I can picture duke walkin around the park with his hands out, baskin in the glory of freezin ass, catch-a-flu rain drops.


& people that know me personally have to put up with these kind of stories everyday & I dont think they can really appreciate them, maybe you do..

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[23 Oct 2007|01:09am]
I think Miss Betty just called me.

-No Subject- [20 Oct 2007|01:06am]
I went out to eat tonite & ended up gettin a table next to this 2 rowdy ass white kids... that were yellin "from the window, to the wall.." Maybe Im just really immature but I thought it was hilarious as fuck. & there was another guy there with his wife & instead of sitting across from each other, she sat next to the wall & he sat next to her. Everytime she got up, which was quite often for some damn reason, he had to get up, move his chair over, wait for her to get out, move his chair back, sit down & then do it all over again when she came back 3 mins. later. I was like got damn!!! Again, maybe Im immature but I thought it was comical, & was overly intrugued, he wasnt gettin irrated but I was, just seein all this movement in my periphial was makin me nervous. I finally saw the BET awards.... shit, I forgot what comment I wanted to make. Theres a spanish lady that lives in the same buildin as Miss Betty, one of her legs is significantly shorter than the other & she kinda leans to the right while her leg kicks to the left. She always has her cab drop her off at the buildin in front of mine, where she has to walk across a triangular field instead of havin the cab go around the corner to drop her off directly in front of hers. I know that grass gotta feel like quick sand... Im perplexed. *scratches head* Oh I havent smoked in over 3 months, I think that may be my problem.

Its rainin outside & Im bored.
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[17 Oct 2007|12:37am]
I have the worst luck with men.

About 2 months ago this guy came into my job beggin for my #. I gave it to him but looped his calls for about a month. A few weeks ago he came back in & was upset I didnt call him back, I mean duke was angry. I was like alright, alright yo, Ill call so he wrote down his house #, his cell # & his roomates #. No joke. I tried to walk off & forget the paper but he caught me. I called him once, a few days ago & by the grace of God, it went straight to voicemail. The very next day he comes into my job again & I see him out the corner of my eye so I try to make a break for it. He catches up to me & was like, I was suprised you called, "I called you back & left about 8 VM messages". This nigga had on a Bill Cosby sweater & the Jodeci combat boots. *sigh* So Im like yeah, Im busy a lot. He says thats okay, so what are we doing Thursday? I told him I had a Dr. appointment & that we'd talk.. & then I ran back to my department. Literally.

That was yesterday. Today he calls me while Im at work. I loop it & then he calls back a few minutes later. I answer & Im like yo, Im at work lemme hit you back. He says alright but stays trying to make small talk & I just hang up. By 10pm I had 3 more VM's. THE FUCK IS THIS NIGGA DOIN WITH HIS LIFE? I mean damn, I havent even given this nigga none & hes already breaking psycho.

I probably wouldnt be so annoyed with duke but he's jive ugly. Im just saying, looks arent everything *cough* but this John Amos nose that curls over his lip is kind of frightening to me. Add that to the fact that he's boring & I just cant fade it. Maybe I need a square in my life though, to even things up a little.

...but not him, fuck around & call John Amos up. Atleast him & his nose was on a TV show with a dope ass theme song.

And forreal, if youre going to wear Jodeci boots, atleast go all out: shirtless with leather overralls.
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The hell is goin on! [04 Oct 2007|12:51am]

Are they serious with the March 2008 date?
& the hell is Paul Wall doin?


PS. big up to Easy Mac.

"Dis bitch a Yetti?" [02 Oct 2007|11:50pm]


-Eating a klu klux klanwich-.. turkey on white bread with mayo & sliced mozarella. Mm! Im about to hit the sheets though. Still havent found anyone to go to the Wu show with me. I should go by myself...... *thinks* Fuck around. By the way, saw the funniest fall today. I would explain it but there were too many elements involved. Thats all. Oh yeah, new Boondocks on Monday. Wordddd!! I work with the most annoying kid ever. I mean, I guess kid doesnt do much, but his breathing & blinking continuously is what gets to me......... Im just sayin.

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What goes around, comes around. [10 Sep 2007|11:58pm]
[ mood | nostalgic ]

A while ago I asked what are/were some of the most terrifying moments of your life (question still stands, none of yall answered!). I never answered but heres one:

There was a playground behind my moms crib that had a merry-go-around, it was set off to the side of the monkey bars, enclosed in a wooden box & the entire playground was covered in rocks (which they later changed to wood chips, I think bcuz of my story).

In comes a nigga named Beadie. Beadie was the biggest nigga Ive ever seen in my life & come to think of it, I seen duke a few years ago & he is STILL the biggest nigga Ive ever seen. At the time (around 3rd or 4th grade), he stood 7 ft. 21.5 inches & weighed around 851 lbs. Big as all outside & for no reason, walking around in sweats & a white tee all day.. being as big as the day is long.

So, me & some friends were chillen at the playground, on the merry-go-round. We'd usually push ourselves or take turns to see who could push faster. I dont know how the situation came about but the nigga Beadie came over to push us. I remember sizing him him, which took a couple seconds longer than neccessary cuz my eyes couldnt adjust to his body size. I thought one of 2 things would happen: 1. duke was too big & couldnt push us very fast cuz his arms muscles melted into fat or 2. he couldnt push us very fast cuz he was too strong & the merry-go-round would come clean off the ground. Either way Id come off on top & plenty of jokes would ensue.

He told us to hold on tight & before I could get a good grip he pushed it ONCE time & the shit started going sooooooooooo fast. Beadie might be the first person to break the sound barrier using playground equipment. All I could think was.......... I wish this big ass niggas heart would seize up so he couldnt push me anymore!!!

I felt myself slipping & losing grip & started screaming for him to stop but he kept pushing & pushing, catching the bar between me & my friend everytime it came around. I thought I was going to die. Either I was going to be pressed back on the metal bars too hard & crack in half or I was going to fall off & hit my head. Yo.... it was terrifying, to say the least. I lost my grip & boom, I went flying alllllllll the way over, out of the box that held the merry-go-round & landed next to my slide, hitting my head on a wood block.

(I think the slickness of the rocks caused me to slide a few inches but hey, Im no scientist. I do know that the wood chips were put down shortly after this incident occured.)

I thought I was dead..... for a few seconds but I wasnt so I got up feeling woozy & Beadie was gone. The merry-go-round was still spinning, friends still holding on for dear life & me, with a knot on my forehead.

I only saw him a couple times after that & then once like, 6 years later & he had the nerve to tell me he remembered me. YEAH NIGGA, YOU REMEMBER ME ALRIGHT, YOU ALMOST TOOK MY GOTDAMN LIFE!!!!!!!!!!

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[08 Sep 2007|02:20am]
So, I dont have anything to update on. I had a few stories I told myself Id update on but I forgot all of them, I should carry a notebook & start jotting down my thoughts. I remember the first time I tried to rollerskate, my knee gave out & I had to skate around the rink in a crouching position until I found carpeted area, where I crawled to a bench & immediately took my skates off. I hated that place yo. Anybody like Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe? I love that show & was THISCLOSE to buying it on DVD but, when will I ever watch it? But I wanna have it.......just in case! Just incase some shit goes down where I can whip it out & be like BOOM, in yo face. *shrugs*


Up at Killa Bee headquarters )
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[23 Aug 2007|03:24am]
[ mood | annoyed ]

Lemme introduce yall to Miss Betty, shes the reason Im up right now and I have to work tomorrow. Shes a short, 70+ y.o black ass woman with yellow hair which she insists wearing in curlers. Ive seen her walk barefoot to 7-11 in 4 inches of snow. Shes also a crackhead, venturing out to retrieve her rocks (ebs's!) only at the hours of 3-4am. And on top of this, she still turn tricks while smelling like boiled dumpster, which shes been known to use the bathroom behind. Why, who fuckin knows, she be on that stuff is what Im tryin to tell you!!

She got the most terrible, disgusting cough in the world. Like her organs just be like "nuh uh, Im comin the fuck up outta here!!". I just wanna rush her old ass to the emergency room whenever I hear it. One morning she knocked on my door at 2am, asking for a ride to 7-11. Nuh uh, Im cool off having black lung on my interior.

Why am I complaining about her at 3:30AM? Shes stitting outside on her stoop (she live in the building diaganolly across from mine, my bedroom window faces her stoop), coughin loud as a bitch & I can hear her dry ass feet (or maybe she has on slippers?) shufflin across the concrete. Her body must hate her & pretty soon shes gonna hate me.. I cant take it much longer.

Miss Betty, take your old ass in the house & get some help! And where are her kids and grandkids? Come take your old ass grandma to the hospital!!

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[14 Aug 2007|11:01pm]
[ mood | lazy ]

Was on the train about a week ago and seen a white boy with a plastic grocery bag tied to his belt. He got off and it got stuck in the door and pulled it off. I saw him & his boy going crazy on the other side bcus they lost it. I'm thinking it's a large sum of money inside, possibly some cru so I promptly got up, walked over to the bag.. and I be damned if it wasnt empty. lol thats what I get, shit was fluke as a bitch though!!!

..I just won a pair of AM's on eBay, 2nd pair this week *does the Aunt Jackie*!!!

EDIT: WHEN DOES THE NEW SEASON OF THE WIRE START??

7 SPOKE/SPEAK

Hokie football starts in 17 days!! [14 Aug 2007|09:17pm]
A VT tote bag I made )
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[31 Jul 2007|10:20pm]
Mad cus I missed the Little Brother show @ Sonar.

Lemme run inside and steal a pen. [17 Jul 2007|01:20am]
The feen of all feens, the head feen in charge of the ashy land known as crackdom asked for my # tonite.

And then I think the nigga tried to insult me. Like, he said "I moved down here from Baltimore, Maryland.. you have heard of that, right?", with the only smirk on his face like.. forreal?

I was thinking in my head, is this nigga serious with the question? What does this nigga MEAN? Did I just ask this nigga "you HAVE heard of baking sodar, right?"

I knew this nigga hit the yak 5 mins. before we spoke. He then asked, "where your man at?" and which I decided to humor myself and answer. He then says "you're kids sleeping at home?" I said nawl, I don't have kids.. in which he replied "damn, that was my best line". He then asks for my #, which caused me to fall into a deep blank stare.

..that was unfortunately disrupted by him asking if I had a pen. I said no (he did offer to run inside my store and steal one, though), he said he didn't have his phone on him and I then told him I didn't have a phone and that I had to get back to work.

At this point my friend left me, and after seeing me try to get their attention to come back over, he asks if they're on medication. Like nigga?? I don't wanna digress but yo, the audacity!!

We left and shortly after he found me in my store and said "I don't want it to seem like I'm stalking you but.." and between a few syllables and broken sentences he was able to speak between chattering teeth, he asked if there was going to be anything between me and him.

I said "nawl".. and that's when I noticed his outfit. Plaid shorts in shades of red that were 3-4 inches above his knee. A dingy, white tanktop that could double as ones Mister T. used to wear with a fanny back over top.. and a fitted, which drew even more attention to his teeth that were clearly involved in a homicide.

*shrugs*
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You too close kid. [10 Jul 2007|01:34am]
[ mood | blank ]

This lady at work randomly comes up behind me, while I'm at my locker, in the midst of a group of young boys and tells me I'm pretty (adorable!) and that she bets I have plenty of men falling for me. After I tell her thanks and that I don't, in fact, have been lined up she tells me to tell the truth bcus I'm am truly a very gorgeous young lady. I say, "nawl, I really don't" and she says I need to pay more attention and that there are plenty of "chubby chasers" around, and that she can't imagine that men aren't fighting to cut in line to be with and talk to me. After looking at this lady like she's lost her got damned mind, I say thank you and walk away laughing, amazed at how she managed to call me overweight and give me a compliment, if I want to take it as one, in the same sentence.

*shrugs* Old people.


This conversation then led me to think back to a few nights ago when this older brotha' approached me, I always get the older ones asking for my #. The older ones or the young ones that'll catch me a charge if I hesitated on ignoring them.

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[29 Jun 2007|11:38pm]
[ mood | hot ]

Saw the oldest lady today, walking slow as usual. I just wanted her to get a good grip on her cane so I could kick that bitch and send her flying.

I just got off work, by the way. My manager has the only googly eye, it's bananas. I try to focus on one side of her face but Im always drawn to looking the direction the shifty eye is focused on, trying to figure out what the fuck it's looking at.

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PSA. [25 Jun 2007|12:13pm]


Don't wear the cape out, fold it up, tie it up.. do something. It looks fluke. Ol' heads may wear the cape. Ol' heads as in, the ones out front passing around a personal of Henn, pretending to work on cars & telling life lessons to anyone within earshot ("Back in my day see :ol' head laugh: the Hennessy was a lot stronger nowaday you young folk cain't hold ya liquor!!"). Ol' heads.. only ol' heads, and possibly fiends cuz they walk dumb fast thus giving the cape the ability to blow in the wind.

Lol, maybe a post on the ol' heads out front my complex is needed.

5 SPOKE/SPEAK

[14 Jun 2007|11:16am]
[ mood | worried ]

The dr. had the nerve to "suggest" I wear contacts. It took me 15 mins. to get the muthafuckas in and now I can't get the shits out.

Life lesson #21: unless you got a fake eye or something fell out, don't be tryna put anything in that bitch.

5 SPOKE/SPEAK

I can't feel my face. [28 Apr 2007|02:47am]
I remember a time in high school when this girl offered me some of her salad which consisted of lettuce, grapes, cheese & italian dressing. I was slightly offended like, the fuck I'm supposed to do with that shit? I'm ready for it to be summer.. not that summer has much meaning to anyone that graduated or isn't in college. I'm down for it though. I think I just wanna eat crabs outside on a table covered in newspaper *shrugs* Went to Sharp Shooters tonite where Rich Boy happened to show up, I wasn't impressed but I did want to ask him "yo, you know you have the hottest song out?" Not hot as in dope, but hot as nigga, you on the police radar, hell you doing in public!!
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[10 Jan 2004|04:54pm]
Friends only.. maybe.
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